Only When I Need You

...It only happens late at night when there's no one else.

Only when I feel so alone that my body literally

aches for someone's arms to wrap around me.

Don’t worry, it only happens when I need you.

It happens so quickly that I can't stop myself from slipping across the small space

- between our two places.

I need it so bad, that I can't stop myself from reaching for the spare key under your doormat,

from crawling to where your dark form's spread, and from sliding under your sheets.

And only when our bodies meet

does the feeling subside,

and only when my bare skin rubs against yours do I feel like it’s quiet inside.

I swear it only ever happen when I need you.

Sometimes you even tell me you love me,

and sometimes you kiss me so hard,

...for a second, I believe you.

Sometimes you tell me all the things you know I need to hear,

but only when I need you.

And when the night’s gone, then so am I, and so are you.

It only happens when the rain shuts the world away

Of this stupid small Hong Kong room I’m standing in today

now there is nowhere to hide, but tomorrow I swear I won’t go ‘stray

We’ll still ignore each other in class, just like always.

Nobody knows, the ugly things we do

Anyways, they only happen when I need you.

Sometimes, I have to stop myself from reaching out in the mornings.

No matter how much I'd like you to be beside me when I wake up,

I know you never will be. Because, well, I'm not supposed to need this any other time than the nights when tears streak my face because I'm so alone.

And it's easy, yes, easy to pretend that the only reason you reciprocate and give me what I need is because of how depressed I get.

Sometimes you even tell me you love me,

and sometimes you kiss me so hard, that I believe you.

Sometimes you tell me all the things I know I need to hear,

but it can only be when I need you.

For when the night’s gone, then so am I, and so are you.

When I can hear your breathing and the rhythm of your heartbeat, life isn't so bad anymore. Sometimes you press your lips to my ear, and tell me that it's okay.

And one night you came to my place before I got to yours.

And everything happened so quickly, I forgot my own rules.

So when the sun peaked in through our window,

I never should have wanted so badly for you to be there.

Because it’s suppose to happen only when I need you.

Sometimes I spend every second of every day thinking back to what we do at night,

when I can't sleep.

I bite my lip, and struggle to control myself as much as I can.

It only happens when I need you, though.

But I need you all the time.