Summercide

So here I am, sitting at nowhere, feeling terrible once again.

Drinking away the anxiety when haunted by the words I refrain

What I say and do just won't mend, though I do intend,

cauz' sometimes I forget the things I try to pretend

This strange effect on me unable to rid,

I'm lost inside like a lonely little kid.

Cast by you with an inability to understand,

I drank the poison from your hands.

And I found myself walking in autumn air.

One doesn't chase what one owns;

the coldness biting at my bones...

crossed the bridges,

burned the cross:

I try to blink the tears away, but new-sprung ones just take their place

and, like the leaves, it seems like there's a whole year in between their pace.........

I found myself walking in autumn air,

smiling down at me, guiltily

a facade that made me trust in something that'd never be.

I can't help but think that life is a waste,

That we're all greedy people just looking for a taste.

We want something new to brighten our days,

All wrong, in so many ways

"Have you ever noticed how the things you want the most are the things that hurt you?"

The easier way is learning to lie, learning how to never dare.

Learning how to look right through someone and never seem to care.

Yet my heart won't understand, still doesn't want to know

When the air turns the colour of the first day of snow.